Marc McILwain: He will always be part of us

Marc Bryant McIlwain was born October 4, 1986, and he died on July 11, 2009, in the  San Jacinto County Jail at Coldsprings, Texas. He was held pretrial from the end of May on and never got to see a judge.

“I had three boys, Marc being the middle child, and I loved all my boys the same,” says his mother, Sherry McIlwain. “But Marc seemed to be closer to me and as he got older it seemed he would come to me with his most private issues from girls, life situations…and about anything.

At 22, Marc would give me and his dad a kiss on the cheek when he would go somewhere. His dad asked him one time when he thought he would grow out of giving us a goodbye kiss, and he said never! it didn’t matter to him that people see him giving us a kiss that is just how he was—he loved us and he didn’t care if everyone saw it. With my two other sons and all my grand children, it still seems that a part of my heart has died even with all the love I have around me there is a huge whole still missing that will be forever gone and that is my baby Marc McILwain.”

From his father Donald McILwain:

“Marc was a very caring person. He had always been like that. At the age of 12 when we were moving, someone hit a possum in the road and killed it. When Marc was moving it out of the road, he saw in the opening from being hit she was carrying babies so he got them out and was trying to save them.

He had a way with people. He didn’t care about nationality race, gender, color, gay or straight, if someone was picking on someone for whatever reason he would stand by that person being picked on and help them out, he hated bullies of weaker or less fortunate.  Marc would brighten up everyone around him no matter how bad of day or what was going on.

There was a day when Marc was waiting on payday and he was running low on money and asked me for a cigarette. I jokingly asked him didn’t he have the money for a pack which i knew earlier that day he did, when he informed me he did but he spent it so i asked then why should i just give him a cigarette.  He told me that he had spent the money on this older homeless lady that we always see walking up and down the main highway into town. He had just felt like he needed to go buy a meal and give it to her for some reason. This is the kind of person he was.

He would take up for his friends and brothers. I never knew him to turn his back on anyone and was always there to help anyone that needed it.

He had a son that was only 2 when he died and that has been the hardest thing— trying to explain to his son Kayden why everyone has a dad and he doesn’t. As a 10-year-old, he is having a very hard time.

Marc was engaged to a lady that had a son. He didn’t try to replace his dad but enhance the care for him as much as his dad and be a big kid friend to him, point being he loved kids and was a big kid at heart. He loved his son so much and was looking forward to being a great dad as his son got older

It made me so proud of this young man I raised and made me tear up because he was so caring of a person. All of his brothers have the same traits but Marc just went out of his way sometimes even when it meant him giving more than he could afford to give whether it be money, time or effort.  I would like to share comments from his family and friends they gave when I told them about this tribute.”

‪Matt Tucker “Marc didn’t like bullies and would go out of his way to defend someone who he thought needed help defending themselves. Even if he didn’t know them.”

‪Desean Watson “Can’t remember a time we he wasn’t smiling. It was contagious. He had a way about him that would have you smiling and joking on a bad day! Kid was a brother to me for years. Big heart.”

Uncle Rob Lindley “Sis, I will always remember his love for life, and how he helped others smile and not take life so seriously! Loved that about Him. Remembering to Honor.”

‪Tarra Nicole Ryan “His big handsome smile could brighten anyone’s day! The way he loved Hunter and was always so proud of hunter as if Hunter was his, he would do whatever he had to do to make sure he provided for Hunter and I. He would give his last dollar away to a stranger in a heartbeat with no questions asked, He always kept our house spotless and loved to keep our clothes ironed lol, Some of the best times of my life were because of him! He never discriminated against anyone. I could seriously go on and on and on… ❤”

‪Peggy McIlwain “He loved his Memaw, always stopping to see I was doing!!!!!!”

Heather Scott‪ “My favorite memory of Marc tells a lot about who he is….. Marc called me and wished me a happy Mother’s Day when I was pregnant with my 1st. He told me he was just wanted me to know he was thinking about me and deserved a happy Mother’s Day. That was the first time I was told happy Mother’s Day and it will always be a special memory for me. I bet he would be surprised to see me the mother of two little Mcilwains!”

‪Sabrina Gibson‪ “Marc was always the one that was the protector to anyone he knew. He was someone that you could always depend on. His family was his life. He was a amazing person!”

Alan McIlwain‪ “I miss my little bro so damn much. I will say I talk to people all the time who always have their own story of Marc. Marc has touched so many lives in his short walk of life. He wasn’t here long, but I can promise you one thing for those who didn’t know him. He lived what time he did have here to the fullest, there was never a boring moment with my little bro. I miss you and love you buddy.”

‪Charlene Shoemake‪ “He was my summer son for a short period of time. Marc and I had a special bond that is hard to explain. He knew that no matter what he could always talk to me about anything and everything. I know for a fact that he told me stuff that he never told anyone else. He will always have a special place in my heart. That was my boy and we loved each other dearly.”

‪Brandon Scott‪ “I miss that one of a kind friend every day. Me and Nikki catch our selves talking about good times we had with Mark all the time. I can’t put my finger on just one great memory we had together because there are so many. We worked together, we hunted together, we were friends forever, we had great times together, we got in trouble together, not too much we didn’t do together. The one thing I can say about him is that he always had your back no matter what the situation was. He was definitely a character in so many ways.

One thing he used to do that cracked me up was call Walmart and ask for their Bob the Builder soundtrack. And they would always ask what that was , so he would start singing it to them over the phone. Lol. Miss my brother from another mother. Friend, we will see you soon and we can cut up in heaven. Can’t wait.”

‪Lauren Tullis Jackson‪ “He had the most contagious smile, and when he loved you he loved you forever. There was never a time he was around he didn’t make sure I was having a good time, and that I didn’t feel safe. From day one he told me he was my big brother, and if I ever addressed him as Marc he would correct me very quickly. Sure miss that boy.”

‪Donna Thompson Tackett‪ “I do have a lot of fond memories of Marc. Two things come to my mind whenever I think of Marc or when I hear someone talk about him. With Brandon being best friends with Marc, he was either at our house or Brandon was at his. You can bet every single time he was at our house he would always have a smile on his face and he was always polite! It was so funny though when he would talk about something he would get really “loud” and I would always tell him to turn down the volume.

I guess I said it a lot because eventually all I had to say was… “Marc”…. and he would finish the sentence…. “I know, I know….turn down the volume!” Lol. And I know, he would not only be surprised, but thrilled that Alan and Heather have had beautiful babies together!”

‪Amanda Ryan‪ “Marc did anything and everything he could to help those in need whether or not he was in need. He put everyone else’s needs ahead of his own because it made him happy seeing others happy. If someone was sad or crying he was the man to go to for advice and to get a huge hug from even a shoulder to cry on. I was thankful for him making my sister and nephew happy. I will forever miss him and carry him with me.”

‪Bubba Sanders‪ “Marc was wild and crazy lol in a good way. Like everyone has already said he would go out of his way for you and always have your back. He always found a way to make you smile. He didn’t like folks messing with his friends at all! He was the type of person that definitely would give the shirt off his back and the shoes off his feet to you. There was never a dull moment with him around, he was the life of the party. I still sit around and think of some of the crazy things we done together and laugh about it. I miss my buddy, I know we all miss Marc and the great person he was. I wish my daughter could have met him, I know she would have loved him. He’s one of them friends, hell he was a brother to me, but he’s someone that will never me forgotten. Marc and I went through a lot of things together. He could always make my situation better any way he could.  What it boils down to is that Marc was that rare friend/brother nobody wanted to lose. He was a great person.”

‪Charlene Shoemake‪ “We can all see what a special person Marc was. Even though he was good at getting in trouble every year during Mardi Gras he would go to the police command center just to see if he could see one of his favorite police officer, Tommy. He thought the world of Tommy from the first time he met him. He always showed the utmost respect for him and most officers.

Marc will live forever because as these post shows he was loved by many and he lives in each of us. We might not see him, but its like he just stepped out of the room. We all remember him like we just saw him. I know that some days it is like he is sitting right beside me telling something stupid he just did and we are laughing about it. I wanted to thank everyone for their stories…you made it feel like he was right here with me reading all of it. He was one of a kind and we will continue to keep him a part of our lives.”

The McILwains told Texas Jail Project: “Thanks for doing this for our loving son and we hope this will help someone else in their struggles.”

In 2012, Marc’s family filed this lawsuit against San Jacinto County Jail.